On Ret Paladins

I hate you. I really do. Why? Because you’re job is easy. Don’t try to tell me it’s not. You know it’s easy, I know it’s easy, so lets cut around the bullshit here and get to my reason for bringing this up.

DISCLAIMER: If you do not wish to read something regarding some LFD Horror Stories, please continue on your way.

People who cannot take 10 minutes to research their class/spec piss me the hell of.

In a bad way. Seriously. Lets set the scene here. It’s last night, my wife is in bed, I’m surrounded by silence, and I decide to farm up some emblems to continue working on my Ret set. I set a goal of 85 emblems(I’m at 48 I believe), and I’m going to hit it. Enter bad players gallore.  I had one good group last night. ONE. With a 45k health tank…..wait….

Let me digress. YES. I judge books, movies, and CD’s by their covers. If you’re a tank rocking 25k health buffed, I’m assuming this is your first time, or an alt, and I’m prepared to play Whack-A-Mole with your health bar.

On the other end of the spectrum, if you’re a tank rocking full iLvl 251+ gear with 45-50k unbuffed health, I’m going to assume you’ve stepped for inside a raid and you’ve tanked said raid. I’m going to assume you know just what the hell you’re doing, and are quite confident in your abilities, and i’m prepared for Borefest 99′(I know it’s 2010, but Borefest 10′ just doesn’t have the same ring to it, so bite it!).

Same thing with DPS. I look at health. If you’re a warrior with sub 20k health, I know your gear is not great, and I do not expect great things out of you. But if you’re rocking 25-30k health as a DPS, I’m fully expecting over 3k DPS, minimum. At all times.

There, I said it. Guilty as charged. I assume, I judge, and I criticize. I use health as a judging tool for how your gear is(only sometimes thrown off by idiot DPS who stack stamina, yes I have seen it). Does this make me a bad person?

Hell. No.

Why? Because I don’t let any of that judgement show. I keep it to my god damned self. My reason? If I step into a group where the tank has 50k health and all DPS has good gear and I make the comment “Awesome, this is gonna be a good group!”, Murphy and his fucking law are going to kick in and next thing I know we’re going to have one person pulling above 1500 DPS(the tank). It’s inevitable. Again, lets visit the other end of the spectrum. Step in, tank has less than 30k buffed, DPS looks all kinds of shoddy, if I make a comment(would probably be along the lines of “Jesus Christ, this group is gonna blow hard isn’t it?”), the tank is going to pull like there’s no tomorrow, and DPS is going to be excellent. Yeah that’s a good outcome, but then I’m an asshole, for no reason. I don’t like that.

So I keep my mouth shut. The ONLY time I’ll speak up in a random is after someone does something stupid. Like last night in H AN. DPS who looks like they’ve just hit 80, and a tank who somehow managed to accidentally pull two groups in front of the first boss. We’ve got a Mage and Boomkin with about 15-16k health each both drop in 2 hits, not a whole lot I can do about it. The rest of the group holds out for a while, and the mage decides to release and run back and continue to contribute. We get the boss down just fine when the Druid makes a comment about how that was full of fail. Well, lets just say that this doesn’t sit well with me, so I pipe up about how the only fail there was them not releasing and running back like the mage did. Queue the slowest run of AN I’ve been through in a while.

I don’t think a single person there broke 2k DPS. Anub took over 6 minutes to down. It was a real test in patience.

Or how about the next group where the druid tank only used Dodge/Stam gems. Seriously. That was IT. He couldn’t generate threat whatsoever.  Or the one after that where somehow our 900 DPS Lock pulled aggro off the tank.

Seriously folks, my point is, this game is not HARD. It might be a little difficult to be EXCELLENT, but to be proficient and pull your own weight is not difficult. You’re online, you have access to resources, and I’m pretty sure you can spare 10 minutes to read something(yes, I’m ASSUMING you can read too), so why do so many people perform horribly? Don’t tell me gear, because I’m about to bring this whole thing full circle.

You ready for this?

My ret gear is the most thrown together mis-matched pile of shit I’ve ever seen. Yes, it’s all epics, yes I have access to enchants and gems and all that jazz. I have green quality gems, I have sub-par enchants on my gear. How much DPS do you think I do in Heroics? I pull anywhere from 4k-6k

“But Sady, you’ve been playing a Paladin for a bit now, some people are new!”


Here’s where research comes in. It took me all of 5 minutes to find out Ret Paladins run off a priority system(instead of a set rotation that I”m used to, remember, my last DPS was a DK), and what exactly that priority system was. Yeah, I have a head start, I know where to look for this stuff. A new person would not. But they can ASK, or take the time to SEARCH for their research. The information is out there people, it’s ripe for the plucking. Your mind is a sponge, it can absorb this information. There is almost no reason you cannot perform decently at this game. I saw almost because Arthur Hawking might have a bit of a problem.

The one thing that consistently gets on my god damned nerves is when people can’t seem to put 10 minutes into researching their class to perform at a level so as not to waste the other 4 peoples time.

I’m almost tempted to take a page from Gevlon and start nabbing blue pieces of gear, equipping them with green quality gems, sub-par enchants and see what happens. Not out of some elitist standpoint to say “Hey look at me I’m awesome I can out DPS peopl ein blues!”, but to just PROVE to people that you don’t need good gear to be good at this game. Everyone as soon as they hit 80 has access to farmable gear that will put them into the most current progression content, meaning Heroics should be a joke. We shouldn’t be seeing people doing under 2k DPS(Kitty Druids aside, I’ve tried your rotation, how on Gods Green Earth you pull that off is entirely beyond my want or need to comprehend, hence why I will only play a Bear, Tree, or Boomkin) anywhere near a heroic.

DISCLAIMER: This is all strictly my opinion. I’m not lobbying to have gear limits set on heroics(the gear limits on the three new ones is retarded in my eyes), and I fully believe you should play the game the way you want. It’s your 15 bucks. But please, for the love of all that is right in Azeroth, do not waste the time of 4 people coming together to enjoy this game.



~ by Sadysm on March 26, 2010.

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